As my maternity leave comes to a close and I reflect on the last four months I find myself spontaneously bursting into tears knowing this precious time is coming to a close. It is a strange juxtaposition, I am yearning to use my adult brain so the timing to go back to work feels right, yet I am not ready to close this maternity leave chapter with you. As I neared the end of my pregnancy I looked forward to this time with you so much, it is hard to believe four months has past.
I would not trade this time together for anything, not even the difficult late night hours or days where you logged zero naps. In those challenging times we learned so much about each other. I hope you felt my unconditional love and now know I will always be here for you, to meet every need. I learned about your deep desire to see and experience the world around you, never wanting to miss a moment. Experiencing your first smile, laugh, and the moment when your tiny hand held my finger are somethings that will be ingrained in me forever. I am grateful for the times you did nap and my new found obsession with HGTV as I am grateful for the hours you didn’t and we snuggled on the couch. I love our coffee dates in the morning and our afternoon walks with Taylor. Really, I am grateful for every single moment we shared together.
As this chapter comes to a close I look forward to the months ahead, hoping I can become a mom who balances work and her family, love and aspirations, and who can truly live in the moment. In the next four months you will change so much, I am grateful I have a job that allows me the flexibility to work from home so I don’t miss a thing. I know it will be challenging diving back into work, dividing up my time but I do promise you this: I promise to always be present when I’m with you, I promise to still enjoy morning snuggles and evening books. I promise to make you laugh every day, I promise to sing to you when you need soothing, I promise to kiss those little toes and I promise to love you more with each passing day.
I love you to the moon and back my dear.